I’ve just sent it. I finally mastered up the courage and I did it.
Allow me to explain. This past summer, I did a blog. Not this one, another one.
I went on a trip, to South America, for almost two months. I set it up for my friend and family to read.
It turns out, everyone loved it. Well I know, they were all friends and family, meaning the opinions were probably a little bias. But people actually meant it. My friends passed it around to other friends and I had pretty good feedback.
Maybe it was because I really enjoyed writing it. And it certainly came as a surprise, since I had never, ever, been very good in anything related to languages. At least not my own, – I was fairly good in English, but then again, it was at a second language level. Even in talking, I am not particularly good at explaining myself. I have a tendency to do quite the opposite of explaining myself – and am often misunderstood.
But I digress.
Anyway, that blog, inspired me to set this one up, and to write one article for a travel magazine and try up my luck. I know, I know, it will probably lead to nothing. But that doesn’t really matter.
I’ll explain. For a while now I’ve been a little bit at lost. Well, not exactly at lost, but frustrated, unmotivated and overall very confused.
You see, I am doing something I really like – my degree is Painting for God’s sake, – but somehow, my university and the whole art scene make me feel that this is a world I don’t quite belong. It is fake, full of crap and snob. Three things I like to consider I am not.
And then, maybe the fact I am not willing to deal with that, might just mean I don’t love it enough?
I don’t know.
And so I set this blog up. I thought – I’ll blog about past travel’s, and then in February I’ll have a whole month to write on the road – and from there we will see.
But then, I got lost for words. It felt strange to be setting this travel blog up, when I am not exactly travelling. And aside from a couple of months a year – which I know is still very good – I am actually not even close to doing it like I wish I could. So I started to put up a couple of photos, but did not have anything, really to say.
So this is why sending this article out means so much. It is the first step, even if a really small one, towards my not so little dream. But especially it means that I am ready to admit what I had not been ready to admit. Maybe painting is not what I am supposed to be doing. Maybe it is not what I want for my life.
And that is very difficult for a couple of reasons – the first is that it was what I wanted to do for a very long time and it never easy to change that, and the second, because it is very difficult to acknowledge that what you want to do, is probably not going to happen.
But you know what, my first dream was not very easy in the first place. I apparently have a terrible taste on life goals.
And so this is the reason I have not been doing any writing on this blog, and that is why I am also announcing a couple of changes here. I know I don’t have many followers or anything, but this is also for me. And so I will just be enjoying my blogging and not caring if it is not that much travel related.
So wish me luck on this article thing – who knows 2013 won’t start with some really good news.
Even if not, it will have been worth a shot.
What about you? Do you also need a couple of priority changes?